I turned 40 last week... and I ran away

I turned 40 last weekend. Although I usually love having friends and family celebrate with me, I felt the urge to be by myself. I couldn’t fully understand why but I was craving the quiet. The inner call was strong, "Go away in nature for a couple of days, be with the silence, your favourite book, a pencil and some paper." So away I went, and it was delicious! 

I set the intention to quiet my mind and witness what was brewing underneath the business of my life. Were there soul words whispered so softly within I hadn’t been able to hear them? Was there another layer of healing waiting to be acknowledged and released? Could I sharpen my clarity of self, soul, and purpose even more, to invite and allow into my life what was looking for me?

Here's a confession, I am terrified of being alone in the dark in the country! The first evening, I kept the lights out completely so no one would know I was there. The other nights were fine but that first night opened me right up to the other “stuff” that was lurking in my own darkness, my shadow, the parts I can't see if I don’t stop, immobilize myself, and feel. I fear that wilderness in me, that unleashed, untamed part of myself that desires to run free… but I loved coming face to face with it.

I left the snowy oceanside with a lighter body, a still mind, and a journal filled with musings and insightful openings into my perception. I LOVED that I listened to and asked for what I needed. It was incredibly restorative and revealing. 

Have you been contemplating retreating? Taking time away from your day to day routine? Do you have the desire to get some clarity, find inner peace, interrupt the noise in your mind, and simply stop and breathe deeply, breathe with intent? I would invite you to listen to that desire if it is coming up for you. It nags us and tugs at our awareness until we listen, take action, give ourselves the gift of space. And then we come home to ourselves again. We remember what really matters and what really doesn’t. We gain perspective and find some freedom. It is such a balm for our heart.

One last thing, if you haven't seen it yet, I shared a self-love meditation and a self-forgiveness visualization on Facebook live last week, here is the link. It is also accessible on my podcast. These exercises are very healing, they help shed light on the unconscious self-sabotage patterns.

In Divine Love,


Soul Reminder: You came here for a reason, find it, and know it's for you. Believe in what belongs to you. Be enthusiastic about it happening because you make things happen with your joy.